Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
