dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
