just come out here and I will go home with you...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
