and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
