I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
