We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
