You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Two words: blizzard sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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