Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
