Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize