I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
