white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
