I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
