I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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