just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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