There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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