WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize