Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
