I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I deserve this hangover.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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