Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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