just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize