At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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