Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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