You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize