it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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