at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
