Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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