Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
