I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
