this just has baby written all over it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
