Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
