i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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