Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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