Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Vodka?
Forever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
