Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
