Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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