What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
