Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
