i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
