I wish I only lived at night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
