I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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