Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
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