; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize