Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
