oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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