I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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