i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
