at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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