Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
