There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is my gift to your gina
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
