I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
