I'm really into asian looking animals
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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