Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
