i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She announced her abortion via fbk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
