You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
