Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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