Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
