mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
