we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
