So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
