Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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