Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
