omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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