Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This is classic penis vs brain.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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